Mindful Mothering

"By the time we have children, many of us have become so achievement-orientated, so goal-driven, so addicted to busyness that we lose out ability to relax along with our capacity to notice what is going on in the now. One of the greatest gifts children bring is the way they guide, if not force, our attention back home to the present. Young children live in the present moment, oblivious to the past, unconcerned about the future. They see objects, people and events with fresh eyes, and with wonder. If we choose to, we can take on their viewpoint and see our surroundings as if for the first time. Once jaded, world-weary parents can find themselves lying in their backyards, fascinated at the proceedings of an ant colony. If we let them, children can teach us the value of time with no objectives, a skillful kind of laziness free from the need for productivity."

This is an extract from Sarah Napthali's book Buddhism for Mothers of Young Children, becoming a mindful parent which I was gifted from a beautiful friend and mother.

Am I buddhist? No, but this book is definitely my #1 recommended read for any new parent. Getting up multiple times in the night to a teething child is always easier when you are filled with compassion and understanding. Don't get me wrong, I don't bounce out of bed smiling to tend to Little A and lets face it, sleep deprivation can make all rational thoughts go out the window. But empathy, understanding and compassion can help how we experience those difficult times.


This year I set a New Year's resulotion to have inner peace. The goal was NOT to be happy but to be at peace within myself which in turn has bought about greater happiness. I don't believe feeling happiness all the time to be possible and or even appropriate... should we be happy when faced with loss? I don't think so!

Earlier this year I did a meditation course run by buddhist teacher Kelsang Norjin. I was 35 weeks pregnant at the time and if meditation wasn't challenging enough trying to meditate with an active little boy in your belly was near impossible. That was ok though, I didn't go for a day of meditation but instead I had enrolled hoping to learn the art of meditation. I knew I would have lots of practice to do outside of the course. What I didn't know was just how hard true meditation is.

Going in to this class I believed meditation to be a relaxing process in which you let your mind free. I quickly discovered I was wrong. In actual fact it is the exact opposite...training your mind and FOCUSING on one thing. There is nothing relaxing about learning and trying to master meditation. It takes discipline and perserverance. I found it to be extremely difficult and frustrating.

By lunch time I was ready to give up. After 2 morning sessions of meditation I think I had achieved up to 3 breaths of "true" meditation. Luckily I bumped into the teacher on lunch break (before I made my planned escape) and after being informed that 21 breaths is "master level" of meditation I was starting to feel a little more encouraged. "Bugger it" I thought, I might as well have another crack... so I stayed for the afternoon session.

By the end of the day I was feeling much more comfortable and relaxed with meditation. Whilst I hadn't progressed past 5 breaths in a row I felt I had learned a lot and couldn't wait to try it out without the interruptive kicks from my belly!

How did my head get filled with so much stuff that I could't truly focus on ONE thing (my breathing) with NO other thoughts for more than 5 seconds?!?!

Fast forward 7 months and life is much different. When Little A was a newborn I could pass hours just gazing at him and feeling him breath on my chest, then it was hours spent engaging with him as he became more aware. Now it is hours sitting in the high chair experiencing food and watching him discover and experience everything for the first time. Life is lived at a much more relaxing pace and such simple things bring me joy.

Yes there is lots of chaos here too. Days when I can't wait for bath time to come around because I feel so stretched and exhausted. Days when the endless washing and folding makes me feel so unispired.

Luckily, they are dispersed between moments of absolute wonder and amazement and I am so grateful to be aware of and capable of fully experiencing these.

My journey to living mindufully started before Little A was even in my belly (not long before) but Little A's arrival has only enriched it and assisted me to slow down and live in the present.

If you are looking for a beautiful book to read, I highly recommend Sarah Napthali's Buddhism for mothers of young children, becoming a mindful parent.

If you are looking for a "challenge" to enrich your life I highly recommend learning the art of meditation... just don't expect results over night!

The last HooRah

Little A is just shy of 6 months which means I have been back running for 5 months already. There is nothing like having a baby to make time fly! I have well and truly made my "comeback" and can now shift my focus from regaining strength and fitness to building on and growing it.

Post baby my goal was to regain my fitness as efficiently as possible.
Enter Speed Work!

5 months of running with a program built around Tempos and Intervals has paid off and now I feel ready to crank up the Ks!

And crank up the Ks I will do as I am only seven weeks out from my next goal... The McLaren Vale Half Marathon.

So whats the plan going to look like now?

Well you may remember me saying that I want to become a Stronger Runner?
Enter Hills!

It has been nearly 2 years since I have ran a hill session. I'm not expecting these to be fun but I am looking forward to pushing myself in a new way.

I am also going to keep two "easy" runs but do these with the stroller. I am finding stroller running physically quite challenging but I know it is making me a better runner.

I will also keep one "speed" session each week and will alternate these between tempo and intervals.

Finally of course there is the long run in which I will build up my distance. My longest run since Little A came along has been 80 minutes. In the next 7 weeks I would like to increase that by 30-40minutes. So all up for the next 7 weeks my training plan will look something like this:

Easy
Tempo or Intervals
Easy
Long Run
Hills

With 2 rest days thrown in there too I should be able to comfortably manage this load.

So why the last HooRah?

After this race I'm not going to train for anything. I may or may not race but I wont be following a training program. Runs will be done when and if I feel like them for as long or short as I feel like. There's a few reasons for this change of approach:

1) Little A will be nearly 8 months and summer will be just around the corner. I can't wait for our first summer together... trips to the pools, walks to the playgrounds and runs to the beach. Bring it on! I know we are going to have a blast and I know there will be lots of physical activity in there and lots of Ks put on the pram but I want our activites and days to be dictated by the weather and what WE want to do not my running program.

2) I have never really done much "unstructured" running. Generally I have been training for something and following some program. I want to learn to embrace running without striving for a race or an achievement.

3) The BIG reason for the change - Big A and I have made no secret of our desire to grow our family. The last 6 months have flown by and I know the next 6 months will too. When that time comes around I want to be ready physically and mentally. Breastfeeding, Pregnancy and Running individually are all demanding of the body. For me I am finding the combination of two of them an energy burning fest(!!!) and would dare not attempt all 3 at once (Honestly I don't have time to eat & drink anymore). As I am not ready to wean Little A from feeding just yet I am going to wean the running first. Hopefully I can find my "sweet spot" where my body can manage running and baby growing responsibilites.

4) Finally mastering "unstructured running will be essential if I choose to run through my next pregnancy. Running while pregnant requires you to listen to your body and each run will be taken on a day by day basis (if at all!). I suspect following a plan would be futile.

So here goes my last HooRah before I attempt to master "unstructured running"!

Any unstructured runners out there? Whats the secret?
Did you run through pregnancy?

Running... the answer to everything

Hmmm maybe this wonder week only lasted 3 days I thought to myself as I washed Little A's breakfast bowl. The little guy was playing happily in his high chair and after only waking for one feed the night before it was a nice contrast to the grizzly bub I had encountered on and off over the last few days. Little A was just shy of 23 weeks and I had put his grizzling and desperate need for mummy and cuddles down to a wonder week.

After the breakfast clean up, I took Little A in to Big A who was enjoying a snooze in. The two boys played and cuddled while I got dressed for my run. It was Sunday and I was due to do my long run. I was keen to crank out some Ks so I decided I would do a treadmill run. The plan was 90 minutes and my goal was 18km.

With everything in place for my run I offered Little A his pre-sleep feed. After a whole lot of fussing and not much feeding I decided it was time to wrap and settle the obviously over tired baby.

As soon as I laid the little guy on his wrap grizzling turned to screaming. I sat in the nursing chair cuddling and rocking confident that he was just over-tired and would settle soon...

10 minutes later and no sign of settling Big A came in to take over. I was happy to trade places by this stage. I paced the hallway waiting for my cue (silence) to jump on the treadmill... 10 minutes later we were no closer to having a sleeping baby.

The longer it took to settle the worse it was getting. I decided to bite the bullet and started packing the pram. I told Big A of my plan and he happily placed the "unsettleable" baby in to the pram.

By the time I hit the end of the street the little guy was fast asleep. Once we reached the river I plugged my hands-free in and called Big A to make plans. We hadn't managed to exchange a word over the screaming baby and I wanted to make sure he was on stand-by in case the miserable-looking sky decided to leak on us. I decided I would do an hour run (if the weather allowed) and meet Big A at Macdonalds for raison toast and coffee (we earned it!)

11km later I pulled off the track and started the recovery walk to meet Big A. The little guy was still fast asleep and stayed that way for another hour while we enjoyed our coffee and toast. Apparently screaming at the top of your lungs for 30 minutes is tiring work!

About a week later Little A's bottom 2 teeth cut through his gums. Was it a wonder week, was it teething, was it separation anxiety or was it just a REALLY over tired baby? I don't know. Either way I thank god for stroller running. The little guy settled and got what he needed (sleep), Big A got what he needed (caffeine) and I got what I needed (a run).

I know there will be a next time and when that comes around I want hesitate about getting Little A in that stroller!

Exciting times

Guess who dropped in to talk all things running?

My new Lil Running Buddy.

I did ask him to do a guest post but unfortunately he is too busy with his eating, playing and sleeping schedule. However he did agree to answer a few questions...


Have you experimented with different approaches to your sessions
Yes. There are 2 main styles I use:

The first one I don't do often but it looks like this...

and the second one is a much more relaxed approach ...

People say you are determined. Would you agree?
Yes. I know what I want and I have ways of making sure I get it...

How do you deal with runners belly?
Don't tell anyone but I wear nappies on all runs!

How are you enjoying running with your new running buddy?
Can I take the fifth?

Yes, Little A and I have enjoyed our first run out and about in the stroller. It went better than I could have hoped for. I did feel the difference pushing the pram but it only knocked about 30-40seconds off my pace. I loved the sympathetic looks from fellow runners as I hit the hills!

Now that we have had our test run, as long as the weather allows I will try and do my Easy Runs with Little A in the stroller. The stroller running will help to keep my pace where it needs to be for the Easy Runs and it will also allow me to get some Ks out on the pavement. I can't believe I am saying this but I have grown very fond of my treadmill runs and have even opted to do my weekend runs (when Big A is home and I can go out) at home on the treadmill. Hopefully I will find my groove back out on the pavement again. With 60km of awesome running track on my doorstep its a waste to confine myself to the treadie by choice!

Little A wasn't the only baby to join the running community this month. Check out this gorgeous little girl. She does it with style!

4 months

This month I discovered just how lucky we had been with Little A's night time sleep routine when it went out the window. Apparently around 4 months (but could be anywhere between 3 - 5 months) babies may have a "sleep regression". In the blink of an eye I went from getting up once a night to up to 5 times per night! It was a rude shock! Luckily the worst of it only lasted a couple of weeks and this mummy is back to getting some decent blocks of sleep again!

This month we have a very special mummy staying with us. . . MY MUMMY! Little A is loving his granny time and I am loving the extra pair of hands. I am achieving twice as much these days while Little A hangs out with his new playmate.

Chilling with granny


Speaking of new friends . . .

Monkey meet monkey!


With solid food just around the corner we decided it was a good time to introduce Little A to his high chair. Did he like it?

I think so!

"hmmm. . . something doesn't seem right about this"

"Isn't this thing meant to come with food?"

"Nope, definitely nothing here!"

" MUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM!!!!!! Get me out of here!"


Next time I decided to try and keep Little A entertained with toys. . .

"You can't fool me. . . I'm here to eat!"

This month also saw us move from the bassinet to the forward facing pram and as I suspected he loved it. . .

Its been a ridiculously cold month in Adelaide and we have been keeping Little A rugged up in soft blankies and cute hats. But apparently we went too far when we tried to dress him like an eskimo. . .

"Can I have my bib back now?"

"This is more my style. . . gangsta"

Little A who has always been "expressive" (basically he tells you if he's not happy) has grown his vocabularly this month. He is experimenting with lots of new sounds and will happily babble to himself in his cot. I have to say its very cute and I just adore his little voice. However at 3am child ???? There is nothing that important that you can't tell me in the morning!

We also had the 4 month immunisations this month. All I can say is we survived it. Apparently it doesn't get any easier but at least this time I knew what to expect!

Finally, here is my favourite photo from this month. . .

Sleeping Angel!

All over the place

My running these days is all over the place. I can get my sessions done but just not in an "ideal" order. Even though I am following a program I do have to shuffle my sessions around a LOT to fit in with life. This week there was plenty of shuffling and the result was something that would make any running coach cringe. A speed session after a long run. A 5km time trial after my intervals. My two rest days were back to back and not spread out before or after my hard sessions.

There was a time in my life (ohh a distant memory now) when my life could be scheduled around my running. When I could spend time and money on recovery and nutrition. These days its just a bonus if I get to stretch and foam roll after a session! There are no special diets, no weekly massages or walks in the ocean to recover the legs. At most I'll slip my compression pants on but even those take 20 minutes (that I don't have) to put on so that rarely happens.

I know if I could find an extra 20 minutes a day to invest in my running and recovery or re-arrange life to get the right runs out on the right day I could optimise my training.

It occured to me the other day that even though I am not doing high mileage I am shooting for PBs on every front and am striving to get the fastest times out of my legs to date, yet I am spending the least amount of time and effort in my training and recovery. Ordinarily this is the point where I would re-adjust and make more room for all of that. But not this time. . . I love my new casual approach to my running and I love not being completely and utterly consumed by it.

On Friday I woke up with a massive craving for runny eggs. . . not the greatest "just before a run" meal but I wanted it. Did it repeat on me? YES. Could I have performed better on say a piece of toast and a banana? PROBABLY.

I LOVE running. I dream about it. I spend lots of my "spare" time reading about it and I look forward to my sessions (99% of the time!). But running does not define me, it is just an enjoyable and important part of my life.

For that reason I am happy to miss out on all the benefits that could come from an "ideal" schedule and all the bells and whistles that go with training. For this mummy just running and giving 100% when I do run is enough for me. I'll try my best to provide the right training, nutrtition and recovery for my running but not at the expense of something that does define me like being a mummy and wife (and food lover!)

I am PASSIONATE about Health and Fitness
I LOVE Running but
I AM a wife and a mother

You know you are a mummy runner when. . .

A few weeks ago I took Little A to the family clinic for his immunisations. Before we left the house Little A had a nap and I had a window of opportunity to either:

A. Have a shower and make myself look respectable

OR

B. Go for a run

I decided to go for a run. So when I arrived at the clinic and there were 20 other mums before me looking preened and cleaned I was feeling a little bit out of place all sweaty in my running attire. This was the day I realised I was going to be THAT mum that is always in her sports clothes. Little A's mummy is a runner. . .

Here are some other signs you are a mummy runner:

1. You ask for a new pair of sneakers for mothers day

2. Your feet look like something from a horror movie. They look this way because you are a runner but they've looked this way for 2 months because you are a mummy. Who has time for pedicures?

3. Your husband responds to your snapping with "do you need to go for a run?"

4. You put on training clothes EVERY morning just in case you get an opportunity to go for a run. If only your child would tell you how long they are going to sleep for before they went to sleep!!!

5. Your water bottle follows you everywhere. . . even to the dinner table at night. Yep, I am all class!!

6. You happily run WITHOUT music because you just love the peace! Before Little A I would never have dreamt of running without my ipod and would struggle to finish a run if it went flat. These days I prefer just to enjoy the peace and quiet.

Happy Mummy Running!

Favourites for Fridays

I have read lots of posts about the Time Magazine article "Are you mom enough?" and I thought I would share my favourite one.

I think this mum has got it sussed. . .
Click here to read it.

The only thing I could come up with to add to that amazing list is:

I hope to raise children who love and respect their bodies and make their health, fitness and wellbeing a priority without being vain.

Enjoy your weekends. I have an 80 minute run planned and the rest of the weekend will be spending quality time with my boys!

Big Gains

This week it has been about intervals, intervals and more intervals. I also managed to squeeze in a tempo run, an easy run and a long run. By Saturday I felt like this. . .

The reason for so many interval sessions being that I started the week doing the interval session that I missed from last week due to Little A being unwell. After a trip to the doc and some medicine the little guy was back to his lively self the next day and so was my training.

This week I have seen some awesome gains in my fitness as I have hit new speeds in all of my sessions. Generally I have felt a lot stronger and a lot more like the pre-baby runner I once knew. Is it because I am finding my groove in my easy runs and getting better quality speed sessions or is it all my speed work paying off? A bit of both I think.

Unfortunately as my running has increased I have let my core training slip a little. I was very consistent and commited to my core training in the early days of my return to running knowing that Post baby this would be the most important step in returning to running. But now I am well and truly back and as I have built up my sessions I have just struggled to find another block in the day for more training.

I thought that by doing lower mileage I could take a more relaxed approach to my pre and post run regime. But with high intensity sessions I am discovering that the actual running is STILL only 1/4 of the picture. Strength training, Recovery and Nutrition still play equally important roles.

I simply can't dedicate the time that I have previously to these areas though. Here are my time effective solutions that I am trying (or about to try) at the moment:

Strength Training
My body has given me a warning this week as I really felt my lower back getting tired in the last few kms of my long run. So starting from this week I am going to try and do 5 minutes each day. This may be a couple of hovers in the lounge room, some pelvic floor exercises before going to bed or some leg raises at the play ground on my walk with Little A. Whatever it is, it will be better than nothing. I just need to pull my finger out before I get side lined with an injury

Recovery
I will start "Foam Rolling" on the floor when Little A has his tummy time. I am usually lying on the mat with him so I might as well be rolling while I am down there. He will also be a good distraction from the pain. . . oh foam rolling I dread you! At night I am turning my electric blanket up to max for the first 5-10 minutes to warm my muscles and trying to use the wheat bags on anything that is tight after a hard session. If I am really sore or tight I will also wear my compression pants under my trackies.

Nutrition
Since all my long runs are sub 2 hours I am not having to worry about Carb loading for my runs. As for post-workout I have been having a Sustagen Sport shake after my run in addition to my normal meals and snacks. This is also to help replace any energy I have burnt on the run so I am not getting too much of an energy deficit while I am breast feeding. Because YES exercising while breast feeding is fine (with adequate energy intake!). . . I'll save this rant for another day but for now, lets just say you wouldn't want to be the next person to ask me if running is a good idea while feeding?!?! And I don't mean literally during a feed!

Hopefully all these little bits and pieces that I CAN fit in to my day will keep me injury free and running strong. . . we will see.

Anyhow back to the washing for me. Amongst the mountain of Little A washing I have some awesome new 2XU pieces that I scored for Mothers Day. Can't wait to break in the new clothes with some more awesome sweaty sessions this week.

May all your miles be Merry!

A Celebration of Mums

I wasn't going to do this but being a new mum still in the (overwhelming) adjustment stage combined with post-pregnancy hormones & wanting to honour the spirit of Mothers Day I just couldn't help myself!

The cover - a controversial picture.
The story - the great debate on attachment parenting.

Now I am neither for or against attachment parenting. How Big A and I raise our children will be a little bit from column A and a little bit from column B. We will do what works best for each of our children and us at the time. We do seek advice and reassurance from our friends and family whom are all parents we admire but we are also balancing this advice with the fact that our child (and hopefully children) are different and so is our family life.

Being a mum is a tough gig at times. Having experienced it now I would have thought mothers would be the most empathetic to other mothers as they truely appreciate the demands and just how different each child can be. Unfortunately I think that instead of empathetic we are quite a judgemental bunch. Truth is we all do it hard at times and sadly you can fall into the trap of judging others to make yourself feel better.

For all the joy, wonder and amazement Little A brings to my life I still have moments when I feel inadequate. . .and when he is incessantly screaming I think he is tending to think that way too! At those times I cling to the beautiful words of praise I have received from friends and family. Amongst all the negativity, pressure and judgement thank goodness for the encouragement and support of friends and family.

Here is a beautiful quote from birth.com.au

Babies are born, mothers are not.
Mothering is learnt

And learning every day I am! I will never know if I did everything "right" and I am positive I will look back and see things I could have done differently. But I will always know I gave it my best shot and did what I thought was right. That combined with the copious amount of love I will drown my children in is enough for me!

Any woman that brings a child into the world commited to doing the best they can by them is a hero in my eyes. I believe it is up to each individual to decide what is best for their child. Part of that is looking after the mother... as this blogger's story tells, what good is any approach if the demands, expectations and pressures of it take a mother away from a child?

So back off everyone!!! And Mums don't buy into this tripe!

Do not compare your children but cherish them for who they are. Stand up for yourselves and your choices but keep a soft heart of tolerance because everyone has the same right to be as individual in their mothering as you!

Tomorrow is Mothers Day so to every mum whether you breast feed or bottle feed, co-sleep or not, whether you returned to work or stayed at home . . .

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!!