Friday, 25 November 2011

Body Image

"You wear tight clothes, usually (pregnant) women buy bigger dresses and hide their bodies but you are proud of it"

This was a comment I got yesterday from a a dear and special 88 year old man. So yes his views and opinions are a little dated and probably don't apply today but his comment still stopped me in my tracks and I would say it has been the highlight of my week. Let me explain...

Firstly I might just clarify that I wasn't exactly strutting around in a tight mini dress or a skimpy outfit at the time. I was actually in a "training" singlet and long tights. So whilst I was covered up and modest, yes it was a figure hugging ensemble.

Whether the comment was meant as a compliment, criticsm or whether I was meant to respond by going to the nearest Target and buying up on oversized clothes - I didn't care! I was too busy marvelling in his last five words!

I am proud of it.... very proud of it! That very statement still surprises me. I truly don't believe "proud" and "my body" have ever been in the same sentence before. For the first time in years I honestly admire my body (and do so in the mirror every night before bed).

For all the changes that pregnancy brings the transformation to your body is definitely a big one. I have always wondered and speculated how I would feel about the changes, especially being a body conscious Personal Trainer who has never been classified as "overweight". And although I have never been classified as "overweight" I have always struggled with my body. Even at my lightest and lowest body fats I have always looked in the mirror and seen the things that I want to change. I have never appreciated and genuinely loved my body in that moment. Pregnancy has been the greatest gift in so many ways but it is my relationship with ME that it has had the biggest impact on.

For me PREGNANCY IS LIKE A BIG RELIEF. A relief that there is something bigger and more important in my life than me! My body's purpose is so much more than aesthetics and how fast and well it can perform. It is growing and nurturing a life and it truly blows my mind. I feel so indebted to my body for being able to give me and my husband something we so desperately want. Every thought I have ever had about how my body should look or behave seems so trivial and insignificant now. For the first time in my life I have no expectations of my body and I just want to support and look after it in hope that it will support and look after our child.

I am now nearly 6 months pregnant and "officially" the heaviest I have been in my life yet completely in love and in awe of my body. It is an amazing feeling and provides me with so much hope for the future. My self worth is not measured by how I look but who I am. It is not real happiness or real living when you are at war with your body. Your body should be loved and appreciated for something more than how it looks. Only then can we every "truely" be happy.

"He who lives in harmony with himself, lives in harmony with the universe" Marcus Aurelius

My Post-baby body will no doubt be different and how I feel about it will be compltely different again. I just hope that I have the ability to continue loving and appreciating my body for the miracle it is. Whether its growing a child or not it does amazing things every day (like keeping me alive and running 42.2km) and for that I am very grateful!

In the meantime I am going to continue to enjoy and admire the softer, rounder more feminie version of me!

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