Thursday, 16 February 2012

Where's the finish line?!?!

I am a very impatient person! I can't wait to meet this little guy and hold him in my arms. I want to see what he looks like and I am just dying to start our life as a family.

I am also very soft when it comes to pain. I have taken just about as much pelvic pain, and discomfort as I can without loosing my mind. So suffice to say I am finding these final weeks a tad testing.

So much so, that at todays weekly ante-natal check up I struggled to supress the urge to reach over and grab my obstetrician by the collar, shake him violently and threaten him until he agreed to get this thing out of me. I'm sure pregnancy hormones can take a little credit for the irrational thoughts but mostly I'm just impatient and soft.

The hardest thing about all of this is not knowing where the finish line is. The little guy could come tomorrow or he could come in 4 weeks! How do I pace myself to get to the end?

I have always been an advocate for finishing races strong. I (almost) always leave enough in the tank to finish with a little surge and a smile. But I'm afraid this hasn't been the case with pregnancy. Instead I feel like I went out too hard and now that I'm near the end and having powered through the most of it my body and mind is paying for it. I can't even fathom how I am going to make it to the end and I get disheartened thinking about the not set finish line.

So screw the finish line. I can't think about it anymore. I am just going to take one day at a time and keep "putting one foot in front of the other" until I'm done. This is easier said than done for a self-confessed numbers person. Its all about times, splits and countdowns. But not this time, until this little boy is in my arms I am only going to think about the day ahead and enjoying it.

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